Scandals, Surprises, and Showdowns: This Week in EWF
November 28, 2024
By Darby Fairchild
Well, the Empire Wrestling Federation never disappoints when it comes to drama, does it? Let’s jump into this week’s mix of chaos, confusion, and questionable choices.
Last week in Banning, Firebird and I Rod defended their tag team gold against Big Bull and Javi Baja. A big moment for I Rod, who notched his first pinfall win in the Empire—bless his heart, took him long enough. After the match, Firebird and I Rod were overheard talking about finally training together. Champions for weeks, and now they’re thinking about teamwork? That’s like deciding to learn how to drive after you’ve already wrecked the car. Trouble in paradise, perhaps?
Speaking of Big Bull, his lavender bubble bath was interrupted long enough for his car to be spotted at the Beaumont trailer park. Now, I’m not one to gossip, but nothing good has ever started with “seen at the trailer park.”
In other news, the search for a new EWF Commissioner is heating up. One applicant might be an assistant’s assistant to an assistant, which sounds like a whole lot of nothing wrapped in red tape. Lord help us if that’s the best we can find.
Hall of Fame buzz is swirling, and names like “Suicide Kid” Mikey Henderson, “Uptown” Andy Brown, and—wait for it—the Honky Tonk Man are in the mix. One name stands out: Bo Cooper. It’s about time, don’t y’all think?
Meanwhile, whispers of a returning star unhappy with the current state of the Empire are growing louder. Could this mystery man shake things up? Lord knows we need it.
On the injury front, Michael Badwolf may have tweaked his ankle against Raunchy Rico, and Eddie Ruiz ghosted us after his loss to Delirium. Maybe he’s nursing his pride—or his chances of a rematch. Jack Fancy insists he’s unscathed by his run-in with Delirium last week, but he’s saving the juicy details for next week. Drama, thy name is Fancy.
And finally, could someone please address The Master’s so-called psychiatric license? Asking for everyone.
That’s it for this week, folks. Until next time, keep your boots laced tight and your eyes on the ring.
